Balanced Academic

There’s a lot of advice out there about how to get into grad school and how to “do it right” once you’re there. Most of this advice focuses on productivity systems, motivation, or having a perfect CV. What I didn’t expect when I started was how much of grad school would feel unclear, unstructured, and quietly demanding in ways no one prepares you for.

These are some of the things I wish someone had told me before I started – not to scare me off, but to normalize the parts of grad school that tend to make people think they’re doing it wrong.

1. You are here to learn – not to already be an expert

When I was in undergrad, I always thought the grad students in my lab knew everything. Then when I got to grad school, I felt like I knew nothing. You aren’t behind because you don’t know things yet – learning is literally the entire job.

2. Research is extremely messy

Ambiguity, confusion, and problems with experiments and analyses are the norm (even if we make it sound polished in the manuscript).

3. Productivity in grad school doesn’t always look productive

There’s a lot of time and energy spent on things that don’t produce immediate results – thinking, revising, rethinking, waiting – but it’s still part of the work.

4. Not everyone gets funding (and it quietly shapes everything)

Time, stress, opportunity, and even the kind of advice you’re given often depend on this reality.

5. Your schedule will never be fully predictable or in your control

Meeting changes, feedback delays, participant scheduling, and administrative issues will constantly interrupt your plans.

6. The hardest part isn’t the workload – it’s the cognitive and emotional burden that comes with it

The workload is heavy, but the bigger drain often comes from decision fatigue, uncertainty, stress, and constant self-evaluation.

7. Comparison is built into the structure

Everyone around you has a completely different experience – different supervisors, resources, timelines, course loads – yet we’re measured against each other anyway.

8. Most “perfect systems” don’t survive real grad school weeks

Consistency, energy levels, and flexibility matter more than aesthetics or optimization.

9. Progress often feels invisible while it’s happening

I haven’t checked a big ticket item off my to-do list in weeks – that doesn’t mean I’m not making progress. Progress and growth are always clearer in hindsight.

10. You don’t need to struggle quietly to be taken seriously

Asking questions, setting boundaries, and naming difficulties is not a weakness – it often makes things more sustainable.

If you’re a grad student and you’re starting to feel unsettled, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It usually means you’re running into the parts of grad school that no one explains upfront. Most of this only makes sense once you’re already in it.

If this post resonated, feel free to like or subscribe. And if you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear: what’s one thing you wish you had known before starting grad school?